Coming Full Circle
by svurookie
Summary: An old friend of Olivia's has passed away leaving behind her thirteen year old daughter. Liv's friend left her daughter in the care of the detective, but can Liv handle being a mother to the teen? What if she had to be a mother to two teens? R&R Plz!
1. Ghosts of the Past

**DISCLAMER: I own nothing that Dick Wolf owns, so anything ya'll recognize in my story does not belong to me. **

**Reviews=Updates, but only serious reviews will be tallied. Be honest with me. Ya hate it? Tell me. You have critiques on something I should change/fix, tell me. I am not looking for "Love it, update." If you love it, please tell me of course, but I am a budding writer who wants to write for a career someday, so I need all the constructive, blunt criticism I can get from my fans. ****Kapeesh?! ;-) Thank you!!! **

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It was an unusually quiet Tuesday afternoon at the 1-6, but Olivia Benson wasn't complaining as this gave her time to catch up on all the DD-5's she had been neglecting over the past week and a half.

"Hey, I'm headin' over to Mulligan's for lunch, care to join me?" Elliot Stabler asked his partner as he passed by her desk on the way towards the door exiting the squad room.

Liv looked up from her paperwork and sighed at Elliot, "Thanks, but I have to finish up all this paperwork before I'm facing contempt charges, but you could always bring me back something if you're feeling generous."

Elliot smiled wide at his partner and slung his coat over his arm. "You got it. The usual?"

Liv smiled at him and nodded her head and called out a thank you to El as he walked out the door. Then Olivia sighed once more and got back into her paperwork.

It felt like she had been working for hours when Olivia heard Elliot coming down the hall talking to someone. She looked up just as he was entering the precinct with a woman who looked to be about 65-70 years old and was walking with a cane. Elliot had her lunch in his hands and he set it down on her desk as he addressed the older woman in his company.

"Mrs. Morrison, this is my partner, Detective Benson. Liv, this is Mrs. Morrison, I met her coming down the hall, she says she needs to speak with you."

Liv nodded at Elliot and gave a warm smile to Mrs. Morrison then pushed her paperwork to the side and got up off her chair to offer it to the older woman.

"Why don't you have a seat, Mrs. Morrison."

"Oh, thank you, dear." And Mrs. Morrison took a seat at Olivia's desk.

Olivia propped herself up on the edge of her desk and addressed the woman sitting before her.

"How can I help you?"

"Well, I…I don't really know how…I'm not quite sure how to put…" And then Mrs. Morrison started to cry.

Olivia thought the woman had been assaulted or raped, so she spoke to her like she would any other victim who came to the precinct.

"Okay, uhm,…why don't we go someplace more private and we can talk?" Olivia gestured for Mrs. Morrison to go with her to one of the interview rooms.

Mrs. Morrison looked around the precinct before nodding her head in agreement and getting off of the chair to follow Olivia.

Once they were in the interview room Olivia gently started asking Mrs. Morrison some questions.

"There ya go," Olivia said as she set a cup of water down in front of Mrs. Morrison who immediately grabbed it and took a sip.

"Now, Mrs. Morrison, can you tell me what brought you here today?"

Mrs. Morrison composed herself and looked into Olivia's eyes as hers started to tear up again. She reached across the table and took Olivia's hands in her own, which startled Olivia at first, but Olivia allowed the contact figuring the older woman needed it to feel safe and to open up to her.

"Oh, Olivia,…you don't remember me, do you?"

Olivia's face twisted into a look of confusion and she looked at the woman across from her briefly trying to place the name with the woman's face.

"No, uh,….I'm sorry, I….I don't."

The older woman sighed and patted Olivia's hands, dismissing Olivia's forgetfulness.

"It's not your fault, dear, it's been awhile since we've seen each other. I'm Paula's mother."

Olivia's eyes widened and she drew in a breath.

"Paula,...?" Olivia whispered more to herself than to Mrs. Morrison.

"Paula Grayson. Well,….Paula Dennison now, her married name. I went back to my maiden name, Morrison, when my husband, Phil, and I got divorced."

"Of course,….Mrs. Morrison. It's,…it's been a long time." Olivia whispered as it was all coming back to her who this woman was, but she was still unsure why Mrs. Morrison had come to see her.

"Mrs. Morrison, uhm…I'm still not sure why you came to see me. What can I do for you?"

Mrs. Morrison took her hands out of Olivia's and took another sip of water from the cup Liv had given to her earlier. She looked somber and drained and her eyes started to tear up again. Before she let the tears fall and overcome her again, Mrs. Morrison spoke to Olivia about why she had come to the precinct seeking her out.

"Pah…Paula was kill…killed…in a car crash."

Olivia's face went blank and tears rushed to her eyes. It had been quite some time since Olivia had seen Paula, but to hear of her friend's passing still hit the detective pretty hard. She let a single tear fall before she spoke.

"When?"

Mrs. Morrison swallowed hard before answering, almost as if she couldn't get the words out.

"About two months ago."

"Oh my God,…Mrs. Morrison, I am so…so sorry. I,…I didn't know."

Mrs. Morrison patted Olivia's hands once again.

"It's alright, dear, I know it was a long time since you and my daughter had been in touch with each other."

Olivia nodded her head as she continued to try and process what Mrs. Morrison had just said to her.

"Yeah, it…it has been a few years since I last saw Paula and…"

Olivia's eyes grew wide and her face concerned when she remembered her friend's daughter.

"Rylie," Liv whispered, "How is Rylie doing?"

Mrs. Morrison smiled at the mention of her granddaughter's name.

"I'm so glad you remembered Rylie, Olivia."

Olivia now also smiled.

"How could I forget her? She was Paula's life, and after Tim…." Olivia stopped and looked down, not wanting to drudge up any new painful memories of her friend and their past. Olivia cleared her throat. "Rylie always wanted to be a detective when she grew up."

Mrs. Morrison laughed.

"Yes, yes she did. Well, she had such good influential role models, between her parents and you, pointing her in that direction." Mrs. Morrison smirked at Olivia so Liv knew to take her statement with a light heart. But then her tone changed back to serious as she looked Olivia square in the eye.

"Rylie's the reason I came to see you, Olivia."

Panic coursed through Olivia's veins as she feared the worst had happened to the sweet little girl who was now invading her memory as flashbacks of the time spent with Rylie and her parents raced through Olivia's mind.

"Was Rylie...?"

Knowing what Olivia was getting at, Mrs. Morrison quickly assuaged Olivia's fears.

"Oh, dear Lord, no! Rylie wasn't in the car with Paula."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as happy tears welled up in her eyes and single one slipped past and down her cheek; she nodded at the child's grandmother.

"Paula was very fond of you, Olivia. You were there for her after what happened to Tim. She never forgot that, I want you to know that. You two may have lost touch as your lives went in different directions, but she always held you in a very special place in her heart."

Olivia's eyes were really welling up with tears now and this time she couldn't stop them from falling. She took Mrs. Morrison's hands in her own and squeezed them tight.

"She will always be in my heart," Olivia whispered.

"I don't doubt that for a second, dear.'

The two women sat there in silence for a few minutes, holding hands, and letting their tears flow freely as they remembered a daughter, a mother, a friend. When the tears of both women were under control it was Olivia who broke the silence.

"Mrs. Morrison,…"

"Oh for heaven's sake, Olivia, please, call me Sheila."

Olivia smiled at the older woman.

"Okay. Sheila. Sheila, you said that Rylie was the reason you came to see me. Why?"

Sheila took a deep breath and let out a sigh and cleared her throat.

"Yes, uhm,…after my daughter…_passed away_ and I was going through all of her papers and documents, I found this."

Sheila took a folded piece of paper out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Olivia.

Olivia unfolded it and began to read, "I, Paula Dennison, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath, to Olivia Benson, the most precious thing in my life; my daughter Rylie Elizabeth Dennison, should I become unfit to care for her or should my death precede her twenty-first birthday." Olivia looked up at Sheila. "She had it notarized."

"After she lost Timmy. She knew the nature of her job meant the same thing could happen to her and she wanted to make sure Rylie would be cared for and loved. She didn't know she wasn't going to continue in this line of work at that time."

"But she got out of this line of work, surely she must want someone else,…."

"She never changed it, Olivia. Paula never changed her mind about wanting you to take care of Rylie should something happen to her."

"If you don't mind me asking, why didn't she name _you _as Rylie's guardian?"

Sheila looked down at her folded hands on the table and began to rub her right hand over the left as if she were applying lotion to her left hand.

"I'm almost seventy-two years old, Olivia. I have M.S. and graciously it is progressing slowly and I will most likely live the rest of my life without having to be confined to a wheel chair, but I cannot be responsible for the care and upbringing of a thirteen year old child. I love my granddaughter very much, Olivia, and I want to be as much a part of her life as I always have been, but Paula left Rylie in _your_ care. _You_ are the one she has entrusted with my grandbaby and I know that I have sprung an awful lot on you today, so I want you to take all the time you need to think this over before you make your decision."

Sheila pulled another folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Olivia.

"Our home address and phone number."

Olivia took the paper and without opening it put it in her pants pocket, then nodded at Sheila and gave her a small smile.

After a brief moment of silence Sheila got up from the table, gripping the edge of it to steady herself on her feet. Olivia immediately jumped up to help her by grabbing her arm and helping her stand. Mrs. Morrison reached for her cane and turned to face Olivia.

"I haven't spoken a word of this to Rylie, yet. I don't want to put my granddaughter through anything unnecessary if she doesn't have to be….she has been through enough."

Olivia nodded in agreement, and whispered, "I know."

Sheila smiled and she and Olivia walked out of the interview room together. Olivia walked her to the exit door of the squad room.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Sheila, and I certainly will be giving what you told me a lot of thought."

Sheila smiled and touched Olivia on the shoulder.

"That's all I ask."

Olivia smiled back at her.

"I'll be in touch. Do you want me to walk you outside?"

"No, thank you, I'll be fine. My driver is outside waiting for me. We will talk soon?"

Olivia nodded.

"Count on it."

And with one last smile cast in Olivia's direction, Sheila Morrison hobbled out of the precinct leaving Olivia standing in the doorway with tears once again welling up in her eyes.

"Who was _that_?"

Elliot's voice from behind her startled Liv out of her trance, and she jumped a little before turning to face Elliot.

"Who _was_ that woman?" Elliot asked again.

"An old friend from college's mother."

"What'd she want?"

"To tell me her daughter was killed in a car accident a couple months ago."

Elliot's face dropped and his eyes got wide. Liv gave him a weak smile and passed him to go back to her desk; she needed to sit down as she felt a little dizzy. Elliot followed suit behind her.

"Olivia, I'm sorry."

"I didn't even know she died, El. I hadn't seen or really heard from Paula in over three years."

Elliot looked confused.

"So, what'd the mother want? Just came in here to tell you her daughter died?"

Olivia shook her head, still in disbelief at what Paula's mother came in to tell her.

"No, ah,…her daughter…_left_ me something and she came in here to let me know."

"Well, what'd she leave you? Money? Her estate?"

Liv looked up at Elliot, straight into his eyes, and replied, "No. Her daughter."


	2. A Friend to Share the Memories With

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"I met Paula in college, she was a year ahead of me at Sienna."

Elliot and Olivia sat in a back booth at Sardis having dinner and drinks as Olivia told him about her friend.

"Her dream was to be a Homicide detective. She graduated top of her class and when I entered the academy she showed me the ropes and made sure no one messed with the rookie."

Olivia smiled at the memory and so did Elliot as he watched his partner's eyes well with tears and he knew her heart was breaking inside.

"So what happened? Why'd she leave the force?" Elliot inquired.

Liv took a breath.

"She was working Manhattan South when she met her husband, Tim. He was a DEA agent, transferred from Chicago. They were married within the year."

Liv and Elliot stared at each other. The waiter came and poured each of them a glass of water which broke the silence and Liv continued on with her story.

"Paula was up for the Gold Shield when she got pregnant with Rylie, and after she had her, Paula decided to forgo her promotion to detective."

Elliot nodded and took a sip of his water.

"So she decided to devote her life to being a mother and not a cop. Very noble of her."

Olivia laughed out loud for the first time since her and Elliot sat down to eat.

"No, not a chance! Paula didn't leave the force, but she decided not to be on the street anymore and she took to riding a desk. She'd bring Rylie into work with her and by the time that child could talk she had her heart set on being a cop."

"So why'd Paula leave the force?"

Liv was silent for a little while and then she spoke, slowly and carefully.

"Tim and his partner were working a case, they were ah,…they were undercover doing surveillance on a gang of Columbian drug cartels responsible for bringing in over a hundred thousand dollars a month worth of pure, pre-cut cocaine and supplying it to half of Brooklyn. They were working with an inside informant for months to track down the supply house for the drugs only,…the informant was being used by the cartel to rig a set up. Tim and a team of DEA agents did a raid on the supply house and it blew."

Olivia paused and then whispered, with tears welling up in her eyes, "Tim never made it out."

Tears slid down her cheeks and Elliot reached across the table and took her hands in his. Olivia let Elliot hold her hands and comfort her for a brief moment before she pulled her hands out of his, wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Anyway, that's when Paula decided to leave the force. Rylie was three years old and thank God was too young to be touched by what had happened to Tim, but Paula left the force immediately afterwards and moved in with her mother out on Long Island. We kept in touch for awhile, but our lives got so busy and were going in separate directions. I think the last time I saw Paula and Rylie was three years ago. I didn't even know she was,…."

Liv started to cry again and Elliot reached for her hands.

"Liv, it's not your fault. You know how many friends I have lost touch with over the years? There is no way anyone could have known this was going to happen."

To fight her tears and shut down the emotions she was feeling Olivia became angry.

"I stood up at her wedding, Elliot…was there when Tim was killed to take care of Rylie so Paula could handle things at work and leaving the city and her job behind. She was there for me when my mom died, really helped me through it,…."

"And now you can be there for her, Olivia. There is a teenage girl in Long Island who has just lost her mother. Who's going to be there for her?"

"But how am I going to raise a teenager, Elliot? With my schedule and work hours, I am hardly ever home as it is. And this job,…Paula's husband gave his life for the job and Paula left so her daughter wouldn't have to go through losing her to it as well. How can I expose her to this kind of life? Why would Paula want me to?"

Elliot shook his head.

"I dunno, Liv, I can't answer that for you, but Paula chose you, knowing you were a cop and that the same thing could happen to you that happened to her husband. She still left the most precious thing in her _life _to you. I don't think she would have done that if she didn't think you were the right one to raise Rylie."

Liv thought for a moment.

"I dunno, Elliot, I dunno if I can do this."

"Well, take whatever time you need to decide. I'm not saying this isn't a big decision, just saying you don't have to go through it alone."

Olivia looked up at her best friend.

"You've got friends, Liv, and we always have your back."

Liv smiled at him.

"Thanks, El."

Then she smirked.

"This mean you're paying for dinner?"

Elliot didn't miss a beat.

"Not a chance. I'm the one with five kids and a wife to support, that beats your one kid hands down."

Liv smiled at him and they raised their beer bottles to salute to their friendship and their dinner that had just arrived.


	3. Decisions and Step One

**Thank you for the few of you who have reviewed my story thus far, I appreciate each and every one of your comments. The more you review the more I will update. And if you want me to take the story somewhere, pitch the idea to me and I will consider any and all of your suggestions. ****Now, more reviews please!!**

Olivia sat at her desk and stared blankly at the piece of unfolded paper in her hand with Sheila's address and phone number on it. It had been two days since Sheila had visited her at the precinct and Olivia lost count of how many times she picked up the phone to call her. So many questions ran through Olivia's head:

_Can I handle being a mother **and** a detective?_

_Do I want to put this child at further risk because of my job?_

_How can I let my friend down?_

_Would Rylie even want to live with me and leave her Long Island home?_

_Do I want my first experiences of motherhood to be with a teenager?_

And on and on the questions went in her mind.

Olivia had talked to Elliot about the situation, she had talked to herself, and even found the courage to ask for brief guidance from George Huang. But in the end Olivia knew the decision was ultimately hers and hers alone, no matter what any of her friends had given her for advice.

Olivia picked up the phone and carefully dialed Mrs. Morrison's number. A young girl answered after the third ring.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, uhm,…I am looking for Sheila Morrison."

"_Hold on a second…..Gramma! Phone!....hello?"_

"Hello, Sheila? This is Olivia Benson."

Olivia heard a small gasp on the other end of the phone.

"_Oh, Olivia, I was hoping you'd call. How are you doing?"_

"Yeah, ya know, I'm sorry it took me a couple days to get in touch with you, Sheila, it's just been so crazy around here and trying to figure everything out, and…"

"_Olivia, say no more. I know I dropped a heavy burden in your lap unexpectedly and what I asked you to do was…"_

"Something Paula wanted." Olivia said quietly.

There was a short pause between the two ladies and then Sheila broke the silence.

"_What are you saying, Olivia?"_

"I'm saying I've given this a lotta thought and I wanna know if it'd be alright if I spent a little time with Rylie? Maybe take her for the weekend?"

"_I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Olivia. But do you mind if I ask you what way your heart is leaning as far as taking Rylie in permanently?"_

Olivia sighed.

"I can't answer that right now, Sheila. I'm sorry. It's just that this is a big decision and my concern right now is for Rylie and that everyone acts in _her_ best interest."

"_I have my granddaughter's best interest at heart always, Olivia…don't ever doubt me on that."_

Olivia could hear the frustration and tension in Sheila's voice and the last thing Olivia wanted to do was fight with her, but she also wanted to make sure Rylie wouldn't be caught in the middle of a battle between the adults. Olivia knew she had already been through more than anyone should have to at her age.

"Sheila, believe me, I know you of all people have your granddaughter's best interest at heart, I just don't wanna make any decisions until I get more familiar with the situation. I haven't seen Rylie in three years, I doubt she even remembers me, so I wanna spend some time with her and talk to her, see how she's doing first and foremost before any permanent decisions are made. And I really need your support on this, Sheila. Please."

There was a long pause and then another deep sigh from Sheila's end of the phone.

"_Of course you have my support, Olivia. When should we be expecting you?"_

"I'm going to check a few things with my boss about taking some vacation time, and I will call you back when I know for sure, okay?"

"_Okay that sounds good. I will be looking forward to your call, dear. Buh-bye."_

"Bye."

And the two ladies hung up from each other.

Olivia sighed, feeling a bit stressed out from that phone call. She let out a long exhale as she pushed her chair back from her desk, got up, and went towards Cragen's office.

_Knock knock._

Cragen looked up from his desk.

"Olivia, what's up?"

Olivia sighed and stepped into the Captain's office.

"Cap'n, I have some vacation time coming up, and I was wondering if I could use it to have the weekend off?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, there's just this personal thing that came up I need to deal with."

Captain Cragen put his paperwork aside and gave his detective his undivided attention with a looked of genuine concern in his eyes and in his voice.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Olivia quickly shook her head, not wanting to reveal anything prematurely.

"No, no, nothing like that. I can handle it, I just,…need the time off to do it."

Olivia gave him a look that said "Please don't press me on this."

Cragen sighed.

"Okay, you've got the weekend."

Olivia smiled.

"Thanks, Cap."

And she turned to leave the office. She got the door open and was about to walk out when the Captain called after her.

"Olivia,…."

Olivia turned around.

Captain Cragen rose from behind his desk.

"If you need anything,…."

Olivia smiled at the man who was like a father to her, knowing he was serious about his offer.

"Thanks," Olivia said simply, and walked out of his office, closing the door behind her.

Olivia was getting some things out of her desk when Elliot walked in and saw her.

"Hey."

Olivia looked up, said, "hey" back to him, and continued gathering her things.

Elliot eyed her actions carefully and looked around the squadroom and towards the Captain's office.

"What's goin' on?"

Olivia grabbed her keys, tossed them slightly up in the air and then caught them.

"I'm ah,…goin' up to Long Island. Goin' to spend the weekend with Rylie."

Elliot smiled.

"That's great, Liv. Cap know?"

Olivia walked closer to Elliot so she could whisper to him.

"Ah,…just that I need the weekend off. I didn't tell him everything, no need for everyone to know everything til I know what I'm gonna do."

Elliot nodded at his partner and patted her forearm.

"Secret's safe with me."

She smiled back.

"I'll see ya later, I wanna get a jump on the traffic."

"'Kay, and hey,…if ya need anything,…"

Liv smiled at him.

"I'll be fine."

Elliot nodded and watched his partner walk out of the squadroom.

When she was in the hallway Olivia took out her cell phone and dialed.

"Sheila, hi, it's Olivia. I got everything cleared with my boss, I'm headin to Long Island now, should be there within the hour,…."


	4. The Meeting and Step Two

Olivia's heart was pounding the entire drive to Long Island. Her head was overrun with thoughts on how to introduce herself to Rylie. What would she say? How would she say it? What would she ask? Olivia wasn't sure if the teen would even remember her after three years and what would Olivia say to a kid whose mother had just been killed and she is the one her mother wants taking care of her when this kid may not even remember her at all? Olivia wanted so much to turn her SUV around and go back to the safety of the city; at least _there _she knew who she was and what she was doing with her life. Olivia Benson: 45, single, Detective on the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD. Those were facts Olivia knew and was secure about. Now, she was driving out of the city, out of her comfort zone, and into a new territory that could inevitably change the person she was known to be to herself and to everyone else. That notion terrified the usually put together Detective Benson, but she told herself she had an hour's drive to pull herself together for Sheila and Rylie.

"Hi, Rylie, Detective Benson….no, she's not a victim…well, she is, but….okay, uhm…Hi, Rylie…do you remember me? No! Maybe I should let her grandmother handle the introductions."

Olivia went back and forth with herself trying to figure out the best way to introduce herself to Rylie when her GPS alerted her, "Turn left onto Sagmore Drive."

Olivia put her blinker on and turned onto Sheila Morrison's street. She drove up the hilly road and slowly looked at each mailbox at the end of each long driveway leading up to the nicest mansions Olivia had set her sights on. She finally arrived at 1442 Sagmore Drive and stopped at the bottom of the driveway and glanced up at the house, taking in the scene. There was a Bentley and a Jag parked in the driveway, along with a limo and a Lincoln town car. There was a basketball hoop attached to the middle of four garage doors and Olivia spotted a soccer net on the grassy area in front of the house. _I see Rylie still enjoys playing soccer_, Olivia thought to herself. She looked at the gorgeous house and saw the ocean was not too far away from the property. Olivia reminisced briefly about how she and Paula always wished they could leave the city and move to a place where the lapping of the ocean waves would lull them to sleep at night instead of the city sounds of car crashes and at times gunfire. "Well, at least one of us got our wish," Olivia said out loud to herself then put her car into gear, "No turnin' back now," and drove up the driveway to the front of the house.

When Olivia reached the top of the driveway she saw Mrs. Morrison come walking outside to greet her. Olivia quickly got out of the car so she didn't make the elderly woman hobble too far with her cane.

"Olivia, glad you could make it."

"Hello, Sheila."

"I hope the traffic wasn't too bad?"

"Nah, not bad at all."

There was an awkward silence as the two women stood and stared at each other briefly before Mrs. Morrison broke spoke.

"Well, would you like to come inside and see Rylie?"

Olivia smiled.

"Sure."

As they were walking towards the house Olivia took Sheila's arm and stopped her for a second.

"Wait, Sheila, have you…_told_ Rylie about any of this yet?"

Sheila looked down at the ground and then back to Olivia.

"No, I haven't yet, dear. (off of Olivia's look) I didn't know how to explain all of this to her. I didn't know how she would handle it after everything that she has been through and I didn't want to upset her when no firm decisions have been made yet."

Olivia's face softened and her voice was gentle and deep with concern.

"How's she doin'?"

"Well,…," Sheila took Olivia's arm in hers and walked them to a ceramic bench that sat at the driveway's edge, "she's _adjusting_ to things I would say, but I think she is just still in shock over everything and none of it has really sunken in."

Olivia nodded, understanding what it is like to lose one's mother, just not at the age of 13.

"Well, let's go in and talk to her, shall we?"

Sheila gave Olivia a small smile and nodded her head. The two stood up from the bench and Sheila led the two of them inside the house.

Once inside Sheila began calling for Rylie and heard a voice from upstairs ring out, "I'm upstairs, Gramma!"

Sheila answered, "Sweetheart, could you come downstairs for a minute? There is someone I would like for you see."

Olivia and Sheila exchanged nervous glances for a brief moment before a girl Olivia placed at about 5"5 clad in a black hooded sweatshirt with Sienna College scrawled on the front of it which was a tad loose on her, from underneath the hoodie Olivia could see a white t-shirt also. The teen was dressed in blue jeans that were a bit loose on her, black Converse sneakers, and her light brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and it flapped around her shoulders and hit her in the chin as she came down the stairs. _My God, she looks just like Paula, _Olivia thought in silence to herself as the girl made her way to the landing and stood there staring up at her and her grandmother. Olivia had to fight to hold back the tears as memories of her deceased friend came flooding back. For the first time since she had heard of Paula's accident it started to really sink in how much she missed her friend and wished they had kept in touch more.

Sheila spoke to Rylie first, noticing the pained look on Olivia's face and seeing the tears well up in her eyes at the sight of Rylie.

"Rylie, honey, this is,"

"Olivia Benson," Rylie finished her grandmother's statement.

Olivia was taken aback by the girl's statement and gave her famous confused look to the teen.

"You remember me?"

"Ah-huh. You were best friends with my mom."

Olivia nodded and fought so hard to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"Yeah," She managed to choke out, nodding, "I was best friends with your mom. And I am so sorry for what happened."

Rylie shifted her weight from her right to her left foot uncomfortably and stared at the ground, not wanting to hear anymore "I'm sorry's" from anyone about her mom. Olivia knew she had made the girl uncomfortable, so she changed the subject.

"It's been so long since I've seen you, I didn't think you'd recognize me."

Rylie just nodded her head.

"So what're you doing here?" Rylie asked Olivia rather abruptly, looking away from Olivia as she spoke.

Sheila stepped forward and answered Rylie's question.

"Well, Rylie, she's uh…she's here to see you. We need to talk to you about something."

"Okay."

Sheila and Olivia looked at each other.

"Why don't we all go into the study and we can talk?" Sheila gestured to her granddaughter and Olivia to lead the way into the study. Rylie, then Olivia and then Sheila all resigned into a large room with a picturesque view of the waves crashing among the rocks to be seen through the room's window clad French doors. The room was filled with in-the-wall book shelves lined from top to bottom with books, and each mantle was decorated with family pictures. The walls with luxurious paintings, but the only wall hangings Olivia paid attention to were the ones of Rylie and Paula. It was very hard for Olivia to look at pictures of the teen and her mother, so she tried to focus on tick-tock of the mantle clock; anything but on the distant memories of her friend.

Once they were all in the study Sheila shut the doors and everyone had a seat; Olivia took a seat on an old leather chair that sat in the corner while Sheila eased herself into a wooden rocking chair. Olivia suspected it was easier for the woman to get in and out of a hard backed chair than it was for her to rise with ease from a sinking couch cushion. Rylie perched herself on the edge of the large mahogany desk and folded her arms across her chest, stealing glances at Olivia and the floor, neither of which was lost on Liv. And it was Rylie who broke the ice.

"So what's this all about, Gramma? What'd you need to talk to me about?"

Sheila took in a breath and then began very slowly, carefully choosing her words.

"Rylie, I,…"

Then Sheila let out a nervous laugh and a giant sigh.

"I don't know how to say any of this to you."

This made Rylie nervous and she got up off the desk and approached her grandmother.

"What's wrong, Gramma? Are you okay?"

Sheila reached up and took her granddaughter's hands in her own.

"Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine, dear, there's no need to worry about me."

"Then why can't ya tell me what it is ya need to tell me if everythin's okay?"

Sheila sighed again and when she spoke this time, she spoke boldly.

"Rylie, your mother made some,…_arrangements_ for you a long, long time ago, when you were just a little girl, in case….something like….like this happened."

Rylie gave her grandmother a confused look.

"What sort of arrangements?"

Sheila looked from Rylie to Olivia and Olivia knew she was struggling with telling Rylie the truth, so she stood up and approached the two.

"Your mother wanted me to take care of you if anything should ever happen to her."

Rylie turned to face Olivia.

"What?"

"She thought Olivia was the best choice for raising you if something ever happened to her," Sheila found herself telling her granddaughter.

Rylie turned back to her grandmother.

"Whaddaya mean "raising" me? Like being my new mother?!"

Olivia held her hands up in front of Rylie, fingers spread, trying to show the girl there was nothing to get excited or hyped up about, that she was not here to take her mother's place.

"No, no, not to be your new mother, Rylie."

Sheila stood up so now Rylie was in the middle between her grandmother and Olivia.

"No one could ever take your mother's place, Rylie. Your mother just wanted to make sure you were safe and well taken care of if something should happen to her where she couldn't take care of you anymore herself, that's all."

Rylie turned to her grandmother, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Well, that's what you're here for, Gramma. You've always taken care of me."

"This is true, I have, but you know I'm not well, Rylie. I'm getting along in years and pretty soon I am going to need someone to take care of _me_."

Sheila said that last part in a joking manner and even laughed a bit at the thought of ever allowing anyone to ever take care of her, but Rylie's 13 year old mind did not think it was funny, and she went to her grandmother and took her hand in hers, as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"And I'll be the one to take care of you, Gramma." Then she shot a look back at Olivia who was standing behind them. "We'll take care of each other."

Sheila squeezed her granddaughter's hand, "And I wouldn't let _anyone_ else take care of me when that time comes, but right now I am thinking of you and what _you_ need. And your mother did a pretty good job of thinking of your needs as well, long before she ever knew what your needs would be. She chose a very special woman to take care of the most precious thing in her life. And you and I both know your mother wouldn't have chosen Olivia if she didn't know she would be the best person to raise her daughter."

None of this was helping Rylie, the teen was just becoming more and more angry as well as confused. She didn't know what was going on. First she loses her mother, and then this strange woman shows up at their door, who she hasn't seen or heard from in over three years, and her grandmother is telling her that her mother wants this woman to raise her? Rylie's head was spinning and she felt like she was going to throw up or pass out or both. Olivia saw the girl starting to sway and she reached out and touched her arm.

"Rylie, are you okay?"

Hearing Olivia's voice and feeling her touch on her arm snapped Rylie out of her daze and nausea, and there was nothing but anger left inside of her. She jerked away from Olivia.

"Get away from me, don't touch me!"

"Rylie,…"

Rylie whipped around at her grandmother.

"No, Gramma, she's _not_ staying with us! I don't care _what_ mom said, she is _not_ moving in with us! We don't need her here!"

Sheila and Olivia both stopped and looked at each other, totally confused by the teen's words during her outburst. Then it dawned on Sheila; Rylie thought Olivia was moving into the house with them, not that she was going to have to move in with Olivia in Manhattan. Sheila took a step towards her granddaughter slowly, as she knew Rylie was still in defense mode, and she spoke to her in a very loving and gentle tone.

"Oh, Sweetheart, no. Olivia is not moving in with us, Rylie."

"She's not?"

Sheila shook her head.

"I live in Manhattan, Rylie." Olivia said as she inched closer to the girl.

"Manhattan?"

Olivia and Sheila both nodded as Rylie shot looks between the two of them, and then it suddenly dawned on the girl what was happening. Rylie finally was clued in that her grandmother was getting rid of her and throwing her out of the house to go and live with Olivia in the city. This fueled the girl's anger even more, but Rylie was more scared than angry, but her outburst came out as angry as a bull that had just seen red.

"NO!"

Sheila tried to grab Rylie, but the girl fought her and backed away, not wanting to be touched.

"Rylie, please, just listen,…."

"No, Gramma, I'm not leaving and you can't make me!"

Rylie ran past her grandmother, out of the study, and out of the house.

"Rylie, wait!"

Sheila called after her granddaughter, but it was too late, Rylie was already out of the house and running down towards the beach.

Sheila sank into the rocking chair and put her head in her hands.

"Oh, God, I wish I had told Rylie what was going on beforehand."

Olivia rushed to Sheila's side and knelt down in front of the woman.

"Don't worry, Sheila, I'll go after her and bring her back. We'll get this whole thing straightened out."

Olivia stood up and ran towards the front door.

"She likes the beach!" Sheila called after Olivia and then dropped her head in her hands again and began to sob.

Olivia ran out of the house and a little ways onto the grassy front yard to see if she could see Rylie anywhere. She jerked her head left and right and she then spotted the girl down on the beach. Olivia descended down a path that led from the back of the house to the beach below.

When Olivia got down on the beach she saw Rylie at the water's edge angrily tossing stones as far out into the ocean as possible. She saw Rylie become frustrated when she couldn't find another stone nearby to throw. Olivia saw one at her feet and picked it up and walked over to the girl. When Olivia reached the teen she extended her hand with the stone in it for Rylie to take and toss out into the water.

Rylie saw the hand come up next to her with the stone in it and she turned to see that it was Olivia who was holding it out. She scowled at her.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I thought I could help."

"Help _how_?"

Olivia extended her hand with the rock in it to Rylie again.

"A _rock_?"

Olivia looked at her rock.

"Yeah. That's what you're throwing in the ocean isn't it? I couldn't help but notice you ran out of yours, so I thought I would give you mine."

Rylie looked at Olivia with a death stare and then hastily grabbed the rock from Olivia's hand and threw it as hard as she could into raging waves; so hard she fell to the ground and grunted out an exhaustive sigh as she hit the cold, hard sand.

Olivia knelt down next to Rylie and put her hand on her shoulder to try and help her up.

"Rylie,…"

Rylie jerked away from Olivia's touch and sat up in the sand, clutching her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, looking out into the ocean as tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"I'm not moving in with you." Rylie said with distain, still not looking at Olivia.

Olivia didn't move from her crouched position next to Rylie.

"That's okay because I'm not asking you to."

For the first time Rylie looked at Olivia and Olivia could see the questions dancing in the young girl's eyes.

"Can I talk to you about why I'm really here?"

Rylie thought for a moment, but then agreed to hear Olivia out. Olivia sat down next to Rylie on the sand and pulled her knees up and put her arms on her knees, her right hand gripping her left wrist. Her position was not as defensive and protective as Rylie's was, but Liv was still somewhat on guard.

"I'm here because your mother wants me to take care of you for her…."

Out of the corner of her eye Olivia saw Rylie tense up and heard a huff come from under the girl's breath, but she decided to continue.

"_But_ I also know it's been awhile since you and I have seen or talked to each other and I'm not here to make things harder on you than they already are."

Liv turned to face Rylie.

"Rylie, I know things have gotta be real rough on you right now, and the last thing I want is to make them any worse. Now, I talked to your grandmother about you coming to Manhattan _just_ for the weekend. It's not movin' in with me, it's not leavin' your home here, it's just so you and I can get reacquainted with each other."

Rylie contemplated what Olivia had just said to her. She wasn't sure if she could trust the woman who she hadn't seen or spoken to since she was ten years old. She looked over at Olivia to see if her eyes would tell her anything. Her mom always said looking into a person's eyes can lead you straight to their heart.

"Seriously? You're not here to take me away?"

Olivia shook her head.

"I'm not here to take you away. No decisions about who you're going to live with and who's going to be taking care of you are going to be made until _you_ are ready to make them. Then we'll all sit down and decide together what's going to happen. Deal?"

Olivia extended her hand out to Rylie who just looked at it, not taking it, so Olivia started to retract it, but then Rylie stuck her own hand out and nodded her head, giving Olivia a little smirk.

"Deal."

Olivia smiled and shook the girl's hand.

"Okay. Now, do you wanna hang out on the beach a little more, or do you wanna go back up to the house and talk to your grandmother about everything?"

Rylie sighed and looked out at the ocean. Olivia thought she was going to say stay by the ocean for a bit longer, but Rylie shook her head and got up off the sand, brushing her butt free of sand.

"Let's go back to the house."

Olivia nodded and got up off the sand and brushed herself off as well.

"Okay."

The two walked along the beach back towards the house in silence, but if their minds could talk, the beach would be filled with chatter.

**Okay, everyone, time to review. I am iffy about this chapter and how I handled things regarding Rylie, Olivia and Sheila. I don't know if the conversations in this chapter went as well as they should/could have, so I am extremely open to suggestions and criticisms for this chapter. So review away, I am all eyes!!! LOL And to my fellow subscribers, and fellow reviewers. I am not getting as many reviews for this story as I would like, which makes me think I suck as a writer and this story sucks, so before I update again, I need at least 5 reviews. I don't think that's too much to ask, I just want to know this story is worth continuing, and the only way I am going to know that is if I get some feedback from my readers. So 5 reviews=chapter 5. Thank you! **


	5. On the Road

Disclaimer: Of course I own nothing and no one you recognize. Sorry for the long delay, but college calls. This time I would like 6 reviews=6th chapter posting. Thanks!

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As Olivia and Riley were walking up the driveway to the house, the front door flew open and Sheila came out and started walking towards the pair. Her cheeks were red, and stained with tears, but her eyes lit up and a smile came across her face when she saw her granddaughter was alright. Riley broke away from Olivia and ran the rest of the way up the driveway to her grandmother's open arms.

"Oh, Riley," Sheila whispered as she wrapped her arms around her granddaughter, hugging her close.

"Gramma, I'm sorry I worried you."

Sheila was too choked up to talk, she could only nod her head against the girl's cheek and hold her tight. Sheila peered over Riley's shoulder at Olivia who had now come up the driveway and was standing behind them, smiling at the scene. Sheila patted Riley on the back and released the girl from her grasp to look her granddaughter in the eye. She placed a hand on Riley's shoulder and waited until the girl met her eyes before speaking.

"I should have told you about Olivia before bringing her here, Riley. I'm sorry."

Riley shook her head. "It's okay, Gramma," Riley looked over her shoulder at Olivia, "Olivia told me she's not here to take me away from you, that she just wants me to spend the weekend with her, so I told her that'd it'd be okay."

Sheila sighed, feeling herself becoming angry with Olivia, but she didn't want Riley to notice, so she just smiled at her granddaughter and nodded her head.

"Well, you better get in and pack, you and Olivia want to beat the traffic back to the city. Go on."

"Okay, I'll be right back down."

Riley headed into the house to go pack her stuff. When Sheila saw she was in the house her and Olivia walked towards each other.

"Olivia,…"

"Sheila, I know what you're going to say, but I am only doing what's best for Riley."

"Oh? And how is leading her on doing what is best for her? When do you think would be the _best_ time to tell her what's _really_ going on?"

Olivia sighed, she didn't have an answer for this woman. She knew what Paula wanted for her daughter, but she also knew how damaging it could be for Riley to remove her from her home and everything she was used to. Olivia felt defeated and didn't like fighting with Sheila about this, she just wanted things to go slowly; both for Riley and also for herself.

"I don't know. I don't know when the best time to tell her would be. I told Riley that no decisions about where she is going to live would be made until _she_ is ready to make them."

Hearing this got Sheila's blood boiling.

"You did _what? _Olivia, how could you? You do not put that type of decision on a thirteen-year-old child! Hasn't she been through enough?"

"Yes, she has." Olivia's voice was calm and even, as if she were talking to a distraught suspect or victim. "Which is precisely why I told her that no decisions about who she'd be living with would be made right now. Riley has been through enough, she just lost her mother, she is traumatized. And I am not about to traumatize her further by uprooting her from everything that is familiar to her and moving her to a place she has never been to before."

Olivia was firm in her words and her stance, and Sheila was about to say something in rebuttal, but heard the door to the house open and Riley came out onto the driveway. Olivia smiled at her and took a step around Sheila to greet her.

"You all ready?"

Riley shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."

Sheila turned to see her granddaughter and noticed the girl only had a backpack with her.

"Riley, is that all you are bringing with you for the weekend? That small bag?"

Riley gave her grandmother an odd look and glanced at the backpack slung over her shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm only going for the weekend, Gramma, I packed enough."

Sheila looked up at the sky and then nodded her head, kicking herself for keeping her mind on the one track that Riley was going to live with Olivia forever. Sheila smiled at Riley and grabbed the girl by the back of the neck, pulling her towards her, and gave her a kiss on the head.

"When did you become such a smart alec, huh?"

Riley shrugged and looked up at her grandmother, who gave her a little squeeze around her shoulder.

"Now, you make sure and behave yourself this weekend, and do everything that Olivia tells you to do."

Riley rolled her eyes a little and smirked. "I know, Gramma."

"And I want you to call me as soon as you get there so I know you arrived safely."

"I know, Gramma."

"And you have to…"

"I _know_, Gramma, don't worry I'll be fine."

Riley ducked under her grandmother's arm and stood facing the older woman.

"It's just the weekend, Gramma, I'll be fine. I will call you when I get there, I'll take all my yucky vitamins, I won't watch anything raunchy on TV., and I'll listen to everything Olivia says. Okay?"

Sheila stared at her granddaughter, her eyes getting a bit misty, and something in her heart was telling her Riley was not happy about this weekend trip to the city with the woman who hadn't been a part of her life for the past three years.

Sheila just nodded and took the young girl in her arms. "Alright, alright I'll stop being such a Nervous Nelly, now,…now you just have a good time with Olivia, you hear?"

"Ah-huh."

Riley and Sheila let go of each other and Olivia came up behind them and handed her keys to Riley.

"Riley, why don't you go put your things in the car, I wanna talk to your grandmother for a minute to make sure there isn't anything else she needs to tell me for the weekend."

Riley grabbed the keys out of Olivia's hand.

"She's going to tell you to not let me eat too much junk food, that I need to be in bed by ten, and to not talk to strangers, I'm sure."

Riley's voice was very sarcastic and dry and Olivia thought Sheila was going to be angry at her granddaughter for speaking to her that way, but all Sheila did was go up and take Riley's face in her hands and say, "You forgot brush your teeth and lock all the doors and windows at night." Then she kissed her granddaughter on each cheek. "I love you, Angel."

Riley smirked and pulled away from her grandmother, slinging her backpack over her shoulder again.

"I'm gonna go wait in the car, I'll see ya later, Gramma, I'll call when we get there."

Riley rushed that sentence and hurried over to Olivia's SUV where she put her backpack on the floor of the front seat and got in.

Sheila stood there a little dumbfounded, a look not lost on Olivia, but the older woman decided to let it go and she addressed Olivia.

"You must think I'm crazy for worrying about her going to the city for the weekend, when I am the one who wants her to live with you permanently."

Olivia smiled and closed the gap between her and Sheila.

"Of course I don't think you're crazy, Sheila, this is your granddaughter, it's natural that you're worried about her and want what's best for her."

Sheila gave Olivia a half smile and nodded, thankful that Olivia understood.

"I promise you I'll take good care of her, she'll be fine."

Sheila glanced over at Olivia's SUV and saw her granddaughter, the spitting image of her late daughter, sitting there with her ear buds in listening to her Ipod. Then she turned her attention back to Olivia.

"She is the most important thing I have left in this world, Olivia, and I want to do right by her."

"And you _will_. Everything will be figured out when the time is right, but right now let's just give Riley some time to adjust and give us the chance to get reacquainted with each other."

Sheila nodded, knowing Olivia was right, and she took Olivia's hands in her like she had done the first time she had gone to see Olivia at the station house, and rubbed her thumbs over the tops of Olivia's palms. Olivia smiled at her.

"I'll have her back Sunday night around eight."

Sheila smiled and nodded again and Olivia held her stare for a moment then let go of Sheila's hands and headed back over to the car where an impatient teenager looked out the window at them.

Olivia got in the car and Riley handed her the car keys.

"Well, there goes the jump on traffic you wanted to get."

Olivia decided to ignore the teen's sudden love of sarcasm and put the keys in the ignition.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but your grandmother just wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay this weekend."

Riley took the ear buds out of her ears and turned off her Ipod.

"Whaddya mean?"

Olivia started backing down the driveway.

"Well, she just wanted to make sure I knew how to take care of you, that's all."

"I'm thirteen, not seven, I know how to take care of myself. And why is she so worried about me being taken care of, I mean, it's just a weekend, it's not like I'm going away forever."

Olivia drew in a breath and bit her lip not wanting to go there right now.

"She's your grandmother, Riley, you're her granddaughter, it's perfectly natural for her to be worried about sending you off into the city for the weekend. She wants to make sure you're well taken care of when you're not in her sight."

"I guess so."

Olivia laughed, "I _know_ so. It doesn't matter if you're thirteen or thirty, Riley, she is still going to be telling you to take your vitamins."

Riley thought about that for a moment, giggled, then sighed. "Yeah."

"And she does it cuz she loves you." Olivia looked over at Riley and smiled.

Riley gave her half a smile and then turned to look out the window. _Love_. Riley never wanted to hear that word again, she hated that word. Hearing Olivia say it made her tense up and as she watched the highway quickly zip by her she wished that it could whisk her away with it.

Riley's fidgeting was not lost on Olivia, but Riley was in her own little world it took Olivia calling her name and then placing a hand on her shoulder for her to snap out of it.

"Riley?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

Riley looked around, feeling like an idiot, and feeling her face get really red. She didn't want to talk to Olivia about any of the thoughts that were racing through her head, so she tried to think of something to say.

"Uh,…yeah, I'm fine, it's just,…." Riley turned away from Olivia and looked out the window again.

"Just what?"

Olivia was trying to concentrate on driving while trying to look over at Riley. Riley turned in her seat to face front and looked down at her lap, playing with her hands and then blurted out, "I haveta go to the bathroom! I'm sorry, I shoulda went before we left the house, but…."

Olivia started laughing as she was relieved that was what was bothering the teen.

"Honey, it's okay, we'll just get off at the next exit and find a restaurant or store and you can go."

"Are you sure? I mean, I can hold it til we get to the city."

Olivia signaled and moved the SUV to the far right lane to merge off the highway at the upcoming exit.

"I'm sure, it's no big deal." Olivia smile at the girl who smiled back.

Riley looked out the window again as Olivia veered off the highway and down the exit ramp. She breathed a sigh of relief that she had come up with an excuse for her behavior that Olivia had actually bought, but she felt a little guilty about lying to her mother's best friend. She pushed all feelings and thoughts about her mother and lying to the deepest part of her stomach and concentrated on the scenery out the window and soon her and Olivia were pulling into a McDonald's parking lot and Olivia was parking the car in a spot.

The girls unbuckled their seatbelts and got out of the car.

"Do you want me to get you anything eat while we're here?"

Riley looked at her disgustingly. "Uh,…no thanks."

Olivia laughed, "Not a big fast food eater, huh?"

Riley shook her head. Her mom had always made sure they had a home cooked meal. When they lived in Manhattan they would order out for pizza once a week as a treat, but her mom always cooked for her.

"Well, go inside and use the bathroom, I'm gonna make a quick phone call out here."

Riley eyed her suspiciously, thinking Olivia was going to call her grandmother and tell her she forgot to use the bathroom before they left the house. Olivia must have known exactly what Riley was thinking because she assured her she wasn't calling her grandmother.

"I'm going to call my partner to let him know I'm back in the city."

Riley nodded her head and turned and went into the McDonald's to find the restroom.

Once she was in the bathroom she locked the door and turned on the water. She cupped her hands underneath the running flow of cold liquid and drank handfuls of it until she felt herself needing to go. Riley felt her guilt assuaging as she convinced herself that since she felt she really had to pee it was okay that she lied to Olivia earlier making her pull over to let her go to the bathroom. Since she now really had to go, Riley tried to convince herself she didn't lie to Olivia in vein, but it wasn't working. The girl miserably shut off the water and went into a stall and did her business, pushing down the guilt that was eating her up inside and tried to forget the entire thing even happened.

When Riley went back outside she found Olivia leaning up against the side of the SUV waiting for her. She wasn't on the phone, so Riley assumed she had already finished her call to her partner. Riley walked over to the car and Olivia smiled at her.

"Ya ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Olivia opened the car door for the teen.

"Hey, ya know this is one thing your grandmother forgot to mention in all the rules she gave us before we left Long Island."

Riley looked at her inquisitively, as she started to get in the passenger's seat of Olivia's SUV.

"Go to the bathroom before you leave the house!" Olivia quipped at the girl.

Riley smiled and laughed a little at Olivia's joke, got into the passenger's seat and buckled her seatbelt. Olivia slammed the door shut and got into the driver's seat, fastened her seatbelt, turned the car on and the two of them were on the road again heading to Olivia's apartment.

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Okay my fellow readers, time to read and review. Like it? Hate it? Want me to add/take away anything? I'm all eyes!! And a special shout out to my girl Olivia! :)


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